Life, as we know it, has its way of pulling us in a million directions, especially when you’re a parent. This blog is dedicated to every parent who has felt their relationship take a backseat amidst the chaos of raising a child. Parenthood is a rollercoaster, a thrilling, exhausting, beautiful ride. But let’s not forget that at the heart of it all is the bond between two people who started this journey together.
Today, I want to talk about intimacy. Not just the physical kind, but the seven types of intimacy that hold a relationship together, emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, financial and recreational. Parenthood may change the dynamics, but it doesn’t have to take these away. Intimacy is the invisible thread that keeps relationships strong, even when life feels heavy. Let’s explore how we can keep these connections alive amidst the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
1. Emotional Intimacy: The Connection of Hearts
Parenthood transforms everything, your routine, your priorities and even your relationship. Amid diaper changes and sleepless nights, it’s easy to lose the deep emotional connection you once shared. Those heart-to-heart conversations that used to flow so naturally may now feel distant, replaced by quick updates and logistical discussions. But emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of a relationship. It’s where you feel truly seen, heard, and understood.
Taking even a few minutes a day to genuinely connect with your partner can rekindle this bond. Share how you’re feeling, what’s worrying you, or even a small joy that brightened your day. Listen to each other without judgment and remind yourselves that you’re a team not just co-parents but partners in this journey. These little moments of vulnerability are what keep the relationship alive. They’re the quiet reassurances that say, “I’m here for you,” even when life feels overwhelming.
2. Physical Intimacy: Little Touches, Big Love
Physical intimacy often takes a backseat after kids come into the picture. The exhaustion, the endless responsibilities and even the changes in your body can make it hard to feel connected in this way. But physical intimacy isn’t just about grand romantic gestures, it's about the small touches that say, “I love you.”
Holding hands during a walk, a quick kiss before bed, or even a lingering hug in the middle of a hectic day can mean so much. These little acts of affection remind you both of the love that started this journey. They bring warmth, comfort and a sense of togetherness, even in the busiest moments. And if you’re ready for more, it’s okay to take time to make it special. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. Physical closeness is a quiet, reassuring reminder that you’re still in this together, creating moments of love and care that keep you connected, no matter how busy life gets.
3. Intellectual Intimacy: Sharing Ideas
Do you remember those long conversations where you’d talk about everything and nothing? Where you’d dream together, challenge each other’s thoughts, or dive into deep debates? Parenthood often shifts those conversations to schedules and responsibilities, but the intellectual connection doesn’t have to disappear.
Sharing ideas, whether it’s about a book, an article, or even a parenting challenge, can reignite that spark. It reminds you of the person you fell in love with: their mind, their passions, their dreams. It’s a chance to see each other beyond the roles of “mom” or “dad” and reconnect as partners who continue to grow and learn together.
4. Spiritual Intimacy: Sharing Your Inner World
Becoming a parent often changes how you see the world. You find yourself reflecting on life’s deeper questions: what values you want to instill in your child, what kind of legacy you want to leave and what truly matters. Spiritual intimacy is about sharing those reflections with your partner.
Whether it’s through prayer, gratitude rituals, or simply talking about your hopes and fears, spiritual intimacy helps you feel aligned. It’s about building a shared purpose, not just as parents but as two people creating a life together. These deep, meaningful connections remind you that you’re working toward something bigger than yourselves, strengthening your bond in the process.
5. Experiential Intimacy: Creating New Memories
Before kids, shared experiences often meant date nights, spontaneous trips, or lazy weekends spent binge-watching your favorite shows. Parenthood changes those moments, but it doesn’t mean you can’t create new ones.
Now, shared experiences might look like cooking a meal together while the baby sleeps, going for a family walk, or even tackling a home project as a team. These moments of collaboration bring joy and remind you that life, even in its simplest forms, is better when shared. They’re a reminder that you’re not just surviving parenthood you're creating a life full of love and memories together.
6. Financial Intimacy: A Partnership in Planning
Money can become a source of stress in any relationship, especially after kids enter the picture. Diapers, daycare and doctor visits add up quickly and financial pressure can create tension. Financial intimacy isn’t just about balancing budgets, it's about open communication and trust.
Sitting down together to discuss your goals, challenges and successes can bring you closer. It’s a reminder that you’re a team, working toward a shared future. Celebrating small wins, like saving for a family trip or sticking to a budget, can also strengthen your bond. Financial intimacy isn’t just practical, it's a form of emotional connection that says, “We’re in this together.”
7. Recreational Intimacy: Laugh Together, Play Together
Parenthood is serious business, but laughter is just as essential as responsibility. Recreational intimacy is about finding joy in each other’s company again. Whether it’s a low-key date night at home, a silly inside joke, or even a playful moment amidst the chaos, these light-hearted interactions breathe life into your relationship.
Laughter reminds you that, even when life feels heavy, you still have each other to lean on. It’s a reminder of the fun, carefree side of your relationship, the spark that brought you together in the first place.
Parenthood is beautiful, messy and utterly life-changing. It challenges every aspect of your relationship but also offers opportunities to grow closer in ways you never imagined. Intimacy is the glue that holds you together through all the quiet moments, the shared dreams and the little gestures that say, “I choose you, every day.”
To every parent reading this: You are doing an amazing job. And just as you pour your love into your children, don’t forget to pour love into each other. Your relationship is the foundation of the family you’re building together.
Parenthood changes a lot, including relationships and that’s okay. If you need a little help finding your way back to each other, we’re here for you. Book a free session today and take the first step toward finding your way back to each other.
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